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Loving Those You Lead

by Hank Dmochowski on September 19, 2019

Loving Those You Lead
 by Hank Dmochowski

When you serve in any kind of leadership, don’t be surprised that God may bring all types of people into your life. Some of them you will naturally like, admire, and get along with. Others… will still be people that you need to love and lead well. Even those that you naturally get along with will push your buttons sometimes, let you down, and make mistakes, so how, as a follower of Christ, are you supposed to love those you lead?

There are five things I’ve learned that help keep me on track.

1. Make Others More Important Than You

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name.
- Philippians 2:5-9

Jesus left all of His glory and splendor behind and humbled Himself to come to earth as a servant. He could have done it another way if He had wanted, but He chose this.

This teaches me that being a leader is a sacrifice. It’s often an act of laying down your own life/time/preferences for the good of someone else. Those in leadership ought to lead sacrificial lives.

It all starts with humility (Romans 12:10).

2. There Is No Partiality With God

James 2:1-4 is a stern warning for us to avoid personal favoritism in the church. It’s very easy for us to form cliques that exclude people – purposefully or on accident – but Jesus didn’t operate by just hanging out with people exactly like Him.

His early disciples were fishermen (probably didn’t smell so good), tax collectors (hated by their own people), patriotic fanatics, and teachers. This family that He formed did not have the same likes or occupations. They weren’t much of a clique.

For that matter, He also spent time with drunkards, prostitutes, and Samaritans. He invited them to partake of God’s truth and goodness. He welcomed them and He loved them.

This teaches me to look for opportunities to include people who are different from me. One good example is that our church has a ministry called "Friendship Class" for special needs individuals. My son attends, and I always try to stop by and say hi. We have a lot of differences, but we all love Jesus and want to serve Him the best we can. That makes us family.

3. Lead By Serving

There’s an old story I’ve heard about a rider on horseback coming upon a squad of soldiers trying to move a heavy piece of timber during the American Revolutionary War. The rider saw a corporal standing by barking orders to “heave,” but the log was just a bit too heavy for the men.

“Why don’t you help them?” asked the rider.

“Me? I’m a corporal! I give the orders.”

The rider quietly dismounted and took his place with the soldiers. With his help and encouragement, they were able to move the timber.

As the rider remounted his horse, he informed the corporal that the next time they needed a log moved to send for him – George Washington, the commander in chief.

I don’t know if this anecdote is true or not, but I do know I’ve seen this sort of willingness to jump into the work among all great leaders. Jesus Himself taught us this in Matthew 20:26-28.

Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.

Jesus did more than talk about this – He demonstrated it. Read John 13:5-17 to see when Jesus washed his disciples’ feet. This teaches me that I should never think of myself as better than the people I lead. I should serve them as I lead them.

4. Be Ready to Be a Friend Even When It's Messy

People make mistakes and bad decisions. It’s easy to write them off and forget about them, but remember all of the people in the Bible who messed up only to have God forgive them, restore them, and use them mightily.

Peter denied Jesus in His hour of need. David had his Bathsheba affair. John Mark abandoned Paul and Barnabus in Pamphylia. And yet, after they had repented, God used these people in an amazing way.

This teaches me that we shouldn’t shoot our wounded or be too quick to write someone off. When someone under our authority is struggling, we should be in their corner as much as possible – not swinging at them. Yes, when someone is in sin of course we need to deal with it, but remember that we’re all human and have grace.

5. Look for Tangible Ways to Show Your Love

Making people feel welcome and wanted is a big deal. A smile, a good handshake or hug and remembering someone’s name can speak a lot of love to them. Remember birthdays, pray for the people you lead, listen to them when they need to talk, look for ways to bless and encourage.

I have to warn you, this part isn’t always convenient. Phone calls often come in the middle of the night, and no one’s car seems to break down at 3 in the afternoon right down the street from where you are. It’s still worth it to look for ways to love.

So pick up the tab for lunch, check up on people, give them a ride to the airport, and help them move.

Love the people that God has placed under your charge, and they’ll have an easier time understanding God’s love for them.